"I'm so stuuuuuupid!"

School is going alright. Pretty okay.

But, its almost over... and I know everyone has to go through this, "okay, so what do I do now?" ...But I am freaking out.

The two years I have been gradually thinking more and more, "what do I want to do? What am I actually good at? What do I like? What can I afford..."

And... I have nothing. I have one thing. I want to act. I want to go to theatre school... but, I definitely don't have twenty thousand dollars. I pay for everything myself. Am I really going to take out a loan and start my life in debt? Am I too scared anyways? What if the school sucks. What if I am horrible? What if it amounts to nothing and then I've started my life fifteen thousand dollars in the hole.

If I had millions, I would go. For sure. But I would also go to teachers college, and do a masters... However, I obviously do not.

I don't know if it's really the money, or the fear... or a real... just... lack of passion for anything anymore.

I used to be so sure of myself.